Help!!I screwed up?

I have been married about 4.5 yrs the marriage on a whole has been very emotionally rocky for me. I am going to be turning 26 yrs old soon and my husband is 39 yrs old.We met by chance at one of my dads companies parties and after 8 months of dating got engaged then 3-4 months later we got married much to my families dismay.Looking back i think i was more infatuated with the gifts he was giving me,i liked being shown off and all the attention.It felt like love but my feelings started diminishing shorty after we got married because i was so lonley.My husband travels 4-5 months out of the year. My husband lets me buy whatever clothing ect that i want but is cold and emotionally unavailable for the most part.He is extremley controling and i feel like just property to him.When i brought up kids he bought me a dog it took 2 more pets for the talk to finally happen.We tried for a year i got poked and prodded nothing was wrong but i still could not get pregnant.He refused to go through any..